7 Practical Steps to Make One-on-Ones Count for Your Team
Lessons Learned
👋 Hey, Carlos here! Welcome to “The Holistic Leader”, your weekly source of simple and honest leadership, Agile, Management & team insights.
One-on-ones are your best chance to build trust, uncover challenges, and help your team grow. When done right, they can transform how you lead and how your team works together.
One-on-ones often feel like just another meeting.
I used to think they were a time to check progress or quickly solve problems. But after years of leading teams, I’ve learned they’re so much more.
👉 Here are 7 practical steps to make your one-on-ones truly count.
1️⃣ Start by Asking How They’re Really Doing
Once, I asked a team member, “How’s it going?” They gave me the usual “It’s fine.” But I could tell something was bothering them. I followed up with, “What’s been the hardest part of your week?” That’s when they told me about a problem with a project partner.
By asking a better question, I found a problem I could help solve.
✅ Lesson Learned:
Don’t rely on generic questions. People often hesitate to share real challenges unless you make it clear that it’s safe to open up.
Advice:
Use specific questions like: “What’s one thing that went well this week?” or “What’s been frustrating you?”
Pay attention to non-verbal cues like tone and body language—they can reveal more than words.
Show vulnerability first: For example, “This week was a bit overwhelming for me—how’s it been for you?”
2️⃣ Talk About Their Growth and Goals
A few years ago, a team member told me they felt stuck in their role.
I asked, “What’s a skill you’d like to learn this year?” They said they wanted to try leading a small team.
We found a project where they could mentor others, and it boosted their confidence and excitement for work.
✅ Lesson Learned:
Many people won’t share their goals unless you ask directly, and sometimes, they’re not even sure what they want until you help them explore it.
Advice:
Ask specific questions like: “What’s one thing you’d like to learn or improve this year?”
Tie their goals to opportunities: If they want leadership experience, involve them in mentoring or managing a small project.
Follow up regularly: Show you care by revisiting their goals in future meetings.
3️⃣ Find Out What Motivates Them
I had a team member who did amazing work on hard tasks but got bored with routine work. Once I knew that.
I gave them more challenging projects, and their energy and focus improved right away.
Weird? more work? (Believe it or not, some people just want more work challenges)
✅ Lesson Learned:
Motivation isn’t always obvious. People are driven by different things like recognition, challenges, or even a sense of purpose.
Advice:
Create a list for each team member: What excites them? What drains them?
Recognize their efforts, especially when it’s “invisible” work others don’t see. For example: “Your analysis saved us a lot of time on this project, thank you.”
Ask about life outside of work: “What inspires you when you’re not at work?” You might uncover values that align with their role.
4️⃣ Give Feedback That Helps Them Improve
There was a time I avoided giving tough feedback because I didn’t want to upset someone. But when I finally brought it up, using clear examples.
They thanked me for being honest and helping them improve.
Note: Not all individuals will take it in a good way, so, be careful with your communication and the way you give them feedback.
✅ Lesson Learned:
Feedback isn’t about criticizing—it’s about giving someone the tools they need to get better. When done right, it builds trust.
Advice:
Use “Start, Stop, Continue”:
👉 Start: “Let’s start preparing presentations earlier to reduce last-minute stress.”
👉 Stop: “Let’s stop overcomplicating emails—simple is better.”
👉 Continue: “Keep sharing your ideas—they’ve been very helpful.”
Ask them to reflect first: “How do you think that went?” Self-assessment often leads to a more productive conversation.
Always end with encouragement: “You’re making great progress—keep at it!”
5️⃣ Ask About Blockers (and Fix Them)
One of my team members once said, “I’m not sure who to ask for approvals, so everything takes longer than it should.”
I realized this was a big problem affecting the whole team. By clearing up the approval process, we saved hours of frustration.
✅ Lesson Learned:
Blockers often come from processes or systems and not the person. It’s your job to spot patterns and remove barriers that hold your team back.
Advice:
Be direct: “What’s getting in the way of your work right now?”
Look for patterns across the team. If multiple people mention the same issue, address it quickly.
Show you’re listening: Follow up in the next one-on-one with: “I talked to IT about that tool issue—has it improved?”
6️⃣ Celebrate Wins (Even Small Ones)
One time, I noticed a team member was quietly doing excellent work that others didn’t see. I made a point to tell them: “Your research really helped us make a strong case to the client.”
Their reaction?
They smiled and said, “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”
✅ Lesson Learned:
Recognition doesn’t have to be big or formal to matter. Even small moments of acknowledgment can boost morale and confidence.
Advice:
Be specific: Instead of “Great job,” say: “Your attention to detail on the budget saved us time and money.”
Recognize effort, not just results. For example: “You’ve put in so much thought into this project—it’s paying off.”
7️⃣ Make It a Real Conversation
In a one-on-one, I once asked, “What’s one thing I could do better to support you?”
Their answer—“Clearer priorities would help us focus more”
That made me rethink how I set goals for the team. That simple change improved how we worked together.
✅ Lesson Learned:
One-on-ones are two-way streets. When you invite feedback, you create a culture of trust and mutual respect.
Advice:
Let them lead part of the conversation: Ask, “What’s on your mind today?”
Invite feedback on your leadership: “What’s something I could do better to help you?”
End with a forward-looking question: “What’s one thing we should do differently as a team?”
💡 Final Thoughts:
One-on-ones don’t have to be perfect to make a difference.
What matters most is consistency and effort.
Here’s a simple framework to start implementing today:
Prepare: Take 5 minutes before each one-on-one to jot down key points you want to cover.
Listen: Focus more on what your team member is saying, and less on what you’re going to say next.
Follow Up: After the meeting, take one action—no matter how small—to show them you’re listening and invested.
Leadership is about progress, not perfection.
Small improvements in your one-on-ones can lead to big changes for your team.
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Thanks for reading
See you next week!
- Carlos✌️
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